Recently I have felt very aware of all of my blessings (the BIG ones as well as all of the little things too). It's interesting to me that these feelings come a little stronger during trying times. When we face pain or trials or change or even when the routine responsibilities of life heap up, it's like the Lord is helping us to see the things that really matter.
* About a month ago, the bishop of our ward was shot and killed in our church building shortly after our Sunday block. To say it was a "shock" really doesn't even begin to say what we all felt. It was a senseless act done by a man who wasn't well, and many people initially asked the question, "why?" And yet, as more experiences from that day have come out, it has become very apparent that the Lord has a plan and that for some reason this was part of it. Amidst the tragedy there has been so much LOVE - a literal outpouring of love for his family, for our ward, for each other. There has been more unity, there has been a very real presence of the Spirit to comfort and testify of the Atonement of Jesus Christ and it's very real power, there has been a new dedication to the things that are important, there has been increased faith. It has been humbling to watch and listen to the testimony of Julie, his wife. She is being comforted and lifted in ways none of us can see (despite the pain she must feel), and her faith is literally strengthening our ward and this community. The Lord is here. His spirit is with us to comfort and guide and direct us...and our Father's Plan is perfect. Sometimes we can't see it and sometimes we don't understand it, and yet I have had enough experiences to know that His perspective is clear and our becomes clearer as we trust and rely on Him.
*A few months ago we found out that we were expecting baby #5. Last week, I was 11 weeks along when I started to experience something that has never happened during any of my pregnancies. It continued for a day, and then I went in to see my doctor. My feelings were confirmed that I had had a miscarriage. Luckily my body was pretty much doing everything naturally (not a fun process at all, especially since you go through it all for a result that you don't want). The feelings I have felt have been much different that I would have thought. There has been some sadness, and yet at the same time I have had an overwhelming feeling of gratitude: gratitude for 4 healthy pregnancies and children, gratitude that I am able to conceive quite easily, gratitude once again for the knowledge of the Lords plan. I know that we experience things in this life to help us grow (grow in our testimonies, grow in our relationship with God, grow in our relationships with each other and also be able to help others somewhere down the road). For whatever reason it was the Lord's will that this turned out like it did this time, and I have faith in Him. And, so we'll just try again.
*The last thing, which probably shouldn't even be considered big news for our family anymore...HE HE HE...is that we are moving...AGAIN. We found out over the summer than the plant here in Visalia was going to be closed down (the economy in this area just doesn't let the financials pencil out). Thankfully, the company doesn't want to lose Sean, so he is being transferred to Albuquerque, NM. I'll admit, I wasn't super excited (or even happy) when we found out about another move (at that point we didn't even know where we would be going). It didn't take long for me to put those feelings aside and recognize the blessings. We are so thankful that Sean has a good job and that his company values him. We are thankful that our kids are such good friends with each other and that they easily adapt to new situations and don't mind moving (we even seriously asked them about how they felt this time around. Caelan said, "I like moving because then I get to be in a new house and make new friends." I guess we haven't scarred them yet...). We are thankful to be able to be all together (no matter where that is). And after Sean and my trip to Albuquerque I'm excited to go and experience a new place - I really liked it there. Our move date is in less than two weeks. Let the packing begin....
So, that's the news with us, the BIG news, I guess. Isn't this life great? All the turns and loops and up and downs. And I've even learned to be thankful for the tough things - they sure make the great things even that much better.
9 comments:
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Just wanted to say AMEN to this post!!!! My hubby has been was laid off 9 months ago and looking back we can see the Lord's hand and how he has provided many miracles for us. Looking forward, not sure when the job will come but trust that the Lord will continue to bless us.
I lived in New Mexico on my mission, it's a great place.
Thank you for providing answers to questions about your ward family, the news is quick to report the story about a tragedy but never offers follow up.
I am sorry about the baby, I know how it feels all too well. People paten find out that I miscarried last year and begin to apologize but I tell them not to. I gain immense strength and increased faith from walking through that trial. I know you will also. At 20 weeks I still worry, but I have to remind myself that the Lord is in control and I will be able to handle whatever he gives me.
Tara- thanks so much for your beautiful post. It was great to hear about your ward family and how they are all pulling together to love each other through this trial. I have thought of your bishop's wife often. I am sorry about your miscarriage. I think that those of us who have lots of children will experience that at least once. I had two- it's not fun! New Mexico will be a great place to live! From one who has moved a lot- there is always good that comes from a move- I have always made life long friends wherever I have lived and can't imagine my life without them! Hopefully you can get all of the moving done with before they get to high school! I know your mom is so proud of you!
I'm sorry to hear about the trials that you have been faced with recently, but you always have such a positive attitude that inspires others around you.
David's brother and his family live in ABQ. They enjoy it there. We are thinking about going for the balloon festival in a couple weeks (the weekend after conference). If you are moved in by then, we'll have to stop by for a bit.
WOW another move, NM will be lucky to have you! :)
Sorry about the loss of the baby and your bishop but we know that we will see our loved ones again and that is such a great peace of mind.
miss you guys
WOW on the move!
You guys have had so much on your plate lately! Thank you for your great example and faith. I don't know how people get through the hard trials of life without the comfort of knowing the things that we know. Albuquerque is super lucky to have you guys!!!!
Wow! Good luck with everything~
Wow Tera, you guys have been going through a lot! I was so sad to hear about your bishop, and glad to hear the family is keeping their faith. I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage, and I admire your ability to value what you have. Good luck with your move! My little family won't be too far behind, oh the stress!
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